Do you ever procrastinate on something you are really passionate about?  Yeah me too, but It doesn’t make sense. It’s why I have been asking myself off and on for the last couple years -why am I so scared to write?

Why is the resistance so strong?

I am brewing with hope, overflowing with love, and longing to empower others to trust God. To take the leap and say yes to the greatest adventure that is out there.  Not just as a one-time decision but a daily decision. To make a conscious choice every single day saying YES to God and to the life he has for them!

So what is it that keeps me from sitting down, opening the laptop, putting my fingertips to the keys… Is it what’s at stake?  Is it the risk of criticism? The possibility of failure?  Or worse… to feel that I’ve put my heart and soul into something – poured out everything I have, having been totally vulnerable and stripped down, putting my authentic self out there and it becomes just another post people scroll through or yet another blog on the internet. 

Maybe it’s the end game I am afraid of, maybe it’s the process or maybe it’s the fact that more than anything I KNOW ME.  I think that’s it… Even though I know it’s not true I still battle not feeling worthy enough or godly enough to offer my thoughts and wisdom. Why do I still struggle with the fact that I feel like I need to be an expert?  Like I need to have arrived before I have something to offer.  I have led others my whole life as an imperfect person and I am so far from having arrived or being an expert. The only thing I might even come close to being an expert on is how real the grace of God is and how bad I need it!

I am passionate and full of purpose.  I love to worship and to pray. I love the Bible and absolutely love sharing it with others. Yet in spite of all those great things… I still argue with my husband, I yell at my children, I battle anxiety and insecurity, I fight negativity, and I am not near as consistent or disciplined as I want to be. Let’s just say I don’t think my friends read about the fruits of the spirit and picture me… I have a very very very (maybe one more very so that you really get it) long way to go. What if I get found out?  

Haha well, I actually am pretty open and honest about it but sitting one-on-one across the table at the coffee shop feels different than trying to be some writer … or does it? Geez, now that I write that it sounds pretty stupid. I guess that is why we need to write or speak those things that have been percolating in our heads for far too long – they lose power once they are out. So, there’s my confession -it’s out – whew now I don’t have to worry about pretending to be something I am not.  I am a work in progress, feel free to label me “under construction”.  

I'm reminded of my husband’s health journey.  He was 80lbs overweight when he started pursuing optimal health and about two or three weeks in, with 15lbs down he decided to become a health coach assisting a friend who wanted to get healthy too. Honestly, I thought it was a little premature… here he was just barely into his journey and he was going to coach someone?! (Don’t worry I didn’t actually say that but my face probably did, whoops) I didn't realize until later that he knew something then that I am just now applying to this area of my life. “I don’t need to be an expert to coach him, honey,” he told me, “I just need to be a few steps ahead of him and point him to the resources that I know work.”

Three years later he still tells me that he doesn’t know if he would have made it to his goal and lost the other 65lbs had he not decided to jump in and help others.  But because he did, he lost 80lbs in 6 months and has kept it off.  He had not arrived.  He had not perfected health. He was not an expert.  He was still in the process and he invited others to join the pursuit and the journey of health.  Not only did he find the freedom he was looking for, but he set others free along the way. Together in community, they found inspiration, acceptance, grace, accountability, and celebration.  I still stand in awe of the unbelievable ripple effect and how thousands have found health because of his decision to say yes.  He said yes deciding to pursue it for himself but his yes had now mattered even more because he made his struggle public. By doing so he gave hope to the hopeless and he put out an invitation to say would you like to join me? Let’s do this together.

Maybe that’s what got me out of bed at an ungodly hour and caused me to put my fingertips to the keyboard today. You see, it’s not just about me and it’s not about how far I have to go.  It is about those out there awaiting an invitation to join the journey.  I would dare to say that you and I - we are alike.  We desire to be known, loved and accepted as we are but we don’t want to stay that way.  We long for more.  To be challenged, shaped and used for a divine, significant purpose.  We want to become the best versions of ourselves and live this one and only life to the fullest. To squeeze out every bit of goodness that it has to offer.  We want to be better wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends. I have found this is so hard to do on my own but in friendship, camaraderie, and community we become bolder, better and braver.  

So here’s to new beginnings, coming clean, facing fears, stepping out, and linking arms … it’s long overdue.  What brave move have you been fearing or procrastinating?  Why not let today be your day too? Here… let’s do it together.  

We Are Team Brave.