Why can’t I be more like her?
Do any of you have a child or maybe a friend that has a tendency to trip easy or miss steps, maybe run into walls? Hahaha I think we all know someone like that. You want to lovingly remind them to keep their head up and watch where they are going, to stop looking at their phone or the person they are talking to, and just focus on where they are headed. Well this is me spiritually. Good intentions, but easily distracted. Moving forward then something trips me up or holds me back. I don’t know about you but in the chaos of everyday life I too easily forget that I need to take my eyes off of me and put them on Him. Hebrews 11:1-2 reminds us to “run with perseverance the race that has been marked out for us and to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus - the pioneer, author and perfecter of our faith.”
As I read these verses there are a couple things that always get me… I am forced to pause and ask myself, what race has been marked out specifically for me and specifically for this season? Not for my husband or my parents, not for the other moms at my school, or my friends from church or those ladies I really look up to… but MY race. My race should always be grounded in fulfilling His purpose, so how do I know what God’s purpose is for me?
Philippians 2:13 reminds us “for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”
Romans 12:1-2 says “No longer being conformed to the patterns of this world but being transformed by the renewing of my mind I will be able to test and approve what God’s perfect will is for me.” I have come to find that the only way to figure out what my purpose and what his will is for me is by being in his word, in his presence, trusting his peace as he leads and having godly counsel in my life that I actually utilize. Do you notice how much of that has so little to do with us and much more to do with him?
Once I know what this race is for me, I need to stay focused and not allow myself to become distracted or faint of heart. What is one of the things that can trip me up and take me out the quickest? The comparison game. It’s worrying about what all the other runners are doing and how I am pacing against them. UGH! So how do I stay in my own lane? It all starts with the need to stop comparing. There is no time for judging her or judging me against her. I must quit looking to the right and to the left to see how she is running her race. Focusing too much on what she is doing and how fast she is doing it, taking note of how she appears to be balancing it all and OH don’t miss that on top of it all that somehow she is always so cute while she does whatever it is she’s doing! How does that even really happen?!?! I wouldn't be keeping it real if I didn't forget to mention the fact that it’s hard not to notice how many people like her posts which means they must like her because of …ya know… all the things I just said above.
I mean, let’s get real for a minute. I know some of the most incredible women and have some of the most AMAZING friends! So naturally, I have struggled with this. (I know most of us do or at least have at one time.) I will just be totally honest and tell you that I dealt with this for a season with Jen Jones who is now one my dearest friends. I mean come on – girlfriend is CRAZY AWESOME! She and her husband are planting a church in San Diego, which if you have ever planted a church you know how much investment of your time and energy and love that this takes. Not to mention she is the CEO of a thriving health coaching business, she is an inspiration to thousands with her posts, her online bible studies, and has even published a book. Wait I didn’t even say the best part yet, are you ready for this… she has 4 kids!!!!! Her oldest Addie is a spunky and hilarious 13-year-old with Down Syndrome and Jen is the best advocate for her sweet girl! Let me just answer the question you are asking yourself at this point, yes. Yes, she is Wonder Woman incarnate. How could I ever compare?!?! Ugh!!!
My flesh wanted to compare, so bad. I wanted to look for something she was failing at, there had to be something right? If I found it wouldn't I feel better about myself? Well maybe, temporarily anyway. See, I have dreams of inspiring thousands, and doing bible studies, and writing a book…. but golly gee gosh dang it I only have 3 kids! My husband does most of the work for our coaching business, and we aren’t even working at a church anymore. So what excuses do I have left? She just must be way better than me. Again that stupid old lie rears it’s ugly head- “see you are just not enough”.
In John 10:10 Jesus says, “the enemy has come to steal, kill and destroy but I have come to give life and life to the full.” When I allow the enemy to steal my joy and kill my personal purpose and passion through comparison and competition I will not experience life to the full.
In hopes of experiencing life to the full, I choose to not stay in that place and not give in to that ugly mentality. I am done listening to that same old lie! The enemy has stolen and destroyed enough in my life because of that one lie alone. So instead of choosing to compare and compete with her strengths, I chose to celebrate Jen and what she brings to the world. I chose to honor the woman she is and continue to do so. I invited her to be a part of my TEAM BRAVE – a group of 7 women that I wanted to journey through the next season of my life with. I reached out letting her know that even though I didn’t know her well, I could tell we shared similar passions. I worked up the bravery in me and even told her that I would love to become better friends, dream together and see what God might have in store. She accepted my invitation and the rest is history!
All I am doing when I give in to comparing and competition is wasting time and energy that I should be using to run MY race with perseverance. When my eyes are on Him and not on what those around me are doing I am way more effective for the kingdom and way more content with my life and myself. I just need to stay in my lane and own my zone. No one else can or will do that for me. I am sick of all of us, including me, downplaying that role. Whatever we have been called to be and to do is what we need to be and do, not anything else! Ha well, that came across a little strong but I guess I am passionate about it because I have met so many women (and too often have been one of them) that are busy wishing they were someone else or had what someone else had – meanwhile they are missing out on all that they do have!
I am sure many of you can say amen to that because like me you have at some point tried to run someone else’s race and it wasn’t as fun as it looked! It wasn’t what you thought and you couldn’t do it successfully… because it wasn’t YOUR race. So don’t give in and play the comparison game. You were uniquely designed and handpicked for YOUR race. Intentionally created with your set of gifts, your passions, your opportunities, your husband, your children, etc… and no one can run it like you can! So rock it! Enjoy the journey! We only get one life and one chance so lets quit wasting time wishing we were more like her and fight to become the best version of ourselves because guaranteed that is way more fulfilling.